


Tie Me Up and Hold Me Close

by AgentStannerShipper



Series: Kinktober 2018 [19]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Aftercare, Bondage, Discussion of kink, Dom/sub, M/M, tequila is a little uncertain at first but this is entirely consensual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 10:48:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16345322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentStannerShipper/pseuds/AgentStannerShipper
Summary: He’d been tied up before, when he was still a teenager and first getting into kink. He’d liked it then, had enjoyed the feeling of immobilization while his partner was able to do whatever they wanted to Tequila. And what Eggsy was proposing, tying him up less to bind him and more to decorate him? Conceptually, the idea lodged itself warmly in Tequila’s stomach. But it chilled his head and heart, making him uneasy. He couldn’t help it, he knew, but that didn’t stop the conflicting feelings from warring inside him.





	Tie Me Up and Hold Me Close

**Author's Note:**

> Day nineteen was shibari, or just bondage in general, I guess? I don't write much of it, but it was still fun to tie Tequila up. To reiterate the tags, Tequila is a little hesitant with this kink because of a bad (nonsexual) experience, but it is a kink he enjoys and he and Eggsy work together to make it good for him.

Tequila swallowed hard and shifted uneasily, and Eggsy reminded him for probably the thousandth time, “We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

And for probably the thousandth time during this damn conversation, Tequila shook his head. “It’s not that I don’t want to.”

“Then what?” Eggsy asked gently. “’Cause we’re just going ‘round in circles, babe.”

Tequila sighed and dropped his face into his hands. “It’s complicated.”

“More or less complicated than you wanting me to humiliate you in public?” Eggsy had flat-out refused that one. Tequila had a club picked out and everything, but Eggsy had told him that he wasn’t comfortable with it, not so much because of the public aspect but because he knew how much Tequila struggled with his own self-worth. “I’m sorry,” he’d said, “but it don’t feel right saying that shit to you knowing you sometimes say it to yourself and mean it.” Tequila had understood.

He considered, and then shrugged self-consciously. “Less? I don’t know. It’s not…” He sighed. “I did this mission once, right? In Ontario.”

“Oh.” Understanding dawned on Eggsy’s face. It shouldn’t have made Tequila feel worse, but it did.

He studied the floor. “It took Statesman about a week to find me. I’d been tied up and alone for most of it, and it just…it sounds so fucking stupid-“

“No, it doesn’t.”

“You ain’t gonna tie me up and then just leave me there.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Then what’s my fucking problem?” The outburst shocked both of them, and Tequila hunched in on himself, trying to make himself as small as possible.

Eggsy set a hand on Tequila’s knee. “Fucked up shit happens to us in a job like this. Sometimes you bring that shit home. It ain’t your fault.”

“But this is something you want,” Tequila whispered to his knees. “And I want…I want to want it too.”

“But you don’t,” Eggsy said. “And that’s okay.” He got up, out of the chair opposite Tequila, and took a seat next to him, leaning into his boyfriend’s side. “I hate the idea of making you do something you’d hate, babe.”

Tequila leaned his head against Eggsy’s shoulder. He didn’t respond. Eventually, Eggsy pressed a kiss to his temple and then went upstairs to bed. Tequila promised he’d join him in a minute and stayed on the sofa, leaning back into the cushions and staring at the ceiling. He loved Eggsy. And Eggsy understood that Tequila not being able to fulfil one of his kinks didn’t mean Tequila loved him any less. But Tequila wanted to do it anyway, wanted to be able to give Eggsy this.

He’d been tied up before, when he was still a teenager and first getting into kink. He’d liked it then, had enjoyed the feeling of immobilization while his partner was able to do whatever they wanted to Tequila. And what Eggsy was proposing, tying him up less to bind him and more to _decorate_ him? Conceptually, the idea lodged itself warmly in Tequila’s stomach. But it chilled his head and heart, making him uneasy. He couldn’t help it, he knew, but that didn’t stop the conflicting feelings from warring inside him.

A thought struck him, and he retrieved his laptop, settling back on the sofa as he opened it. His fingers hovered over the keys before he typed in a quick search and began to read.

He woke up to Eggsy’s hands shaking him gently, concern written plainly across his boyfriend’s face. Tequila blinked slowly, getting his bearings, and realized he was still on the sofa, laptop having slipped to the side and landed on the floor. He picked it up, checking for damage, and then realized Eggsy was still watching him.

“You didn’t come to bed last night.”

Guilt lanced through Tequila. “I’m sorry, baby. I meant to, but then I got caught up down here, and I must have fallen asleep.”

Eggsy eyed the laptop. “Caught up doing what?” Tequila couldn’t really blame him for the suspicion. They trusted each other, of course, but last night had set things a bit on edge.

He hesitated. “I was doing a little research.”

Eggsy frowned in confusion, and Tequila hastened to explain, “I wanted to see if there were any ways to work around my…problem.”

“Babe, I told you, you don’t have to-“

“I know. But I wanted to at least try. And I think I’ve got it worked out.” Tequila gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

It must have worked, because Eggsy tilted his head. “Okay. I’m listening.”

“The problem is you leaving me alone, right? That’s where all my anxiety is coming from; I know rationally that you wouldn’t do it, but that doesn’t stop part of me from worrying.”

“Sure, yeah.”

Tequila patted the sofa, and Eggsy sat down next to him. “I think, if I had you constantly touching me, or always in my line of sight, or talking to me, letting me know you’re still there, I think I could manage it,” Tequila said. “Letting you tie me up, I mean. I want to try, and I think if I can get out of that headspace I’ll really like it. I used to, anyway. So yeah. Do you think we could try that?”

“You sure that’s gonna be enough?” Eggsy asked. “’Cause I can do that, no problem. Touching you and talking to you, I mean. I’m just not sure it’ll be enough.”

Tequila shrugged. “I’m not either,” he admitted. “But that’s what safewords are for, right? And I’m willing to try it out. Hell, I _want_ to.” He gave Eggsy his best pleading eyes. “Please?”

Eggsy laughed, and Tequila grinned. Eggsy shook his head in disbelief. “Yesterday you were fucking terrified of the idea, and now you’re giving me puppy eyes trying to get me to do it. You’re something else, you know that?”

“I’ve been made aware,” Tequila joked.

“Alright,” Eggsy relented. He shook his head again, still grinning. “We’ll figure something out for a scene, yeah? Nothing too heavy to start out with, and if it works for you, maybe then we’ll go from there.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

It took them a few weeks before anything could actually happen. Kingsman had top priority, of course, and a handful of missions apiece meant a night off where they both weren’t exhausted was an impossibility. Between missions, they discussed what they wanted to do, putting together a plan for when they finally managed to get the necessary time off.

It was nearly a month after the initial discussion when they found that time. Tequila was officially benched for a few days because of some Statesman politics negotiating his transfer, and Eggsy had just arrived home from a low-stakes mission that had gone especially well. They’d spent most of the day just lounging around, watching crap telly and cuddling, but Tequila could sense the anticipation in the air between them, and it made him shiver in nervousness and excitement in equal parts.

“We don’t have to do this,” Eggsy reminded him one last time, and the look Tequila shot him was just shy of scathing.

“I want to do this. You want to do this. I don’t see the problem.”

“Alright,” Eggsy said, raising his hands in surrender. He nudged Tequila up off the sofa. “Bedroom, then?”

Tequila led the way.

Eggsy made his way to the closet, pulling down the ropes he’d prepared and setting them aside. Tequila hovered next to the bed, unsure what to do. Eggsy glanced over and gave him a look of reassurance. “Just relax. I’m gonna take care of you, yeah?”

Tequila nodded, but the nervous energy didn’t abate.

“I want you to strip for me,” Eggsy requested, and Tequila’s hands went to the buttons of his shirt without a second thought. Eggsy didn’t watch him, but instead moved to the thermostat, turning it up a bit so Tequila would be more comfortable. By the time he turned back, Tequila was fully nude, his clothes folded in a neat pile on the bed. Eggsy smiled. “Good boy.”

The praise made Tequila preen. Eggsy tilted his head in contemplation. “Bed or floor, babe?” he asked.

Tequila glanced between the two options, then back at Eggsy. “Floor,” he decided.

“Alright.” Eggsy grabbed a pillow off the bed and set it on the floor by Tequila’s feet. “Down you go.”

Tequila sank to his knees on the pillow automatically, the motion second nature by now. “Perfect,” Eggsy praised. “Alright, I’m gonna let you get situated for a minute, and then we’re gonna start with the ropes.”

Tequila tensed automatically, but Eggsy ran a soothing hand along his shoulders, shushing him. “It’s alright, babe. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

It wasn’t enough to drain away all of Tequila’s tension, but it helped, and he relaxed minutely into the touch. “Tell me your safewords again?” Eggsy prompted.

“Yellow if I need to pause, red to stop altogether,” Tequila recited.

“And you’re sure you want to use the traffic light system?” Eggsy asked. He kept his hand curled around Tequila’s shoulder. “We could use something else if you’d like.”

Tequila shook his head. “You’ll stop if I say ‘red,’” he said confidently, more so than he was feeling. “That’s all I need.”

“If you’re sure.” Eggsy pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’m going to get the rope now, okay babe? It’s right on the table, so I’m not going far.”

Tequila nodded his assent, and Eggsy released him, taking two steps away to retrieve that handful of ropes before coming right back, never stepping out of Tequila’s line of sight. He held out his empty hand, palm up, and Tequila copied the gesture. Eggsy placed the rope into his outstretched palm, and Tequila closed his fingers around it, rubbing his thumb over it to get a feel for the texture. It was soft, not so much that it would slide free easily, but enough that it wouldn’t chafe at his skin.

“Good?” Eggsy asked.

Tequila nodded.

“I won’t tie any knots you can’t work out of if you really need to, but safewords first, alright?”

“Yes, sir,” Tequila said, and the ease of the honorific allowed him to settle all the way down.

Eggsy noticed and smiled. “Good boy.” He took that ropes from Tequila again. “Hands behind your back.”

Tequila obediently folded his arms behind him. Eggsy circled around him, keeping his voice low and steady as he murmured, “I’m right here. Not going anywhere.” Under other circumstances, the almost excessive reassurance might have embarrassed Tequila, but now he was grateful for it. Even with Eggsy out of his line of sight, the anxiety didn’t flare up again.

“I’m gonna start with your wrists,” Eggsy told him. “Then I’m gonna work my way up.” Tequila nodded to indicate his understanding, and then Eggsy was guiding his shoulders back a bit more, forcing him to sit high on his knees as Eggsy pressed the heels of Tequila’s hands together and then bound a length of rope around his wrists. He did the same below his elbows, and then wound a longer piece above his elbows that then coiled over his biceps, knotting together at the centre of his back. The position was stiff and a little uncomfortable, emphasized as Eggsy used a few final loops of rope to connect the other pieces in a line down his back. When he was finished, he stepped away, and Tequila shivered slightly as the warmth of his proximity disappeared.

“I’m still here,” Eggsy murmured. He reached out a hand, curling it over Tequila’s shoulder, muscle pulled taught as the ropes that held him. “Just wanted to take a proper look. That is gorgeous.” He circled around, leaving the hand on Tequila, and Tequila tilted his chin up, blinking slowly at Eggsy, who smiled down at him and cupped his cheek, stroking his thumb over it. “You’re so good for me, sweetheart. How do you feel?”

“Green, sir.”

“You like it?”

Tequila contemplated, tugging experimentally at the ropes. They held fast, but that didn’t incite the panic he’d grown used to expecting. It felt an awful lot like it used to: like he was being held safe. “Yes, sir,” he answered Eggsy. “Feel good. Feel safe.”

It was the right thing to say. Eggsy’s eyes lit with warmth. He bent down and brushed a kiss over Tequila’s forehead. “I have you,” he murmured. “You’re safe.” He straightened up, and then asked, “Do you mind if I take a picture, babe?” His voice was casual, but Tequila had been prepared for this. Eggsy had said he might ask.

He nodded his consent, and Eggsy’s hand left him, slipping his phone out of his pocket. He circled Tequila again, touching the back of his head gently to guide it down. Tequila let his chin touch his chest, heard the soft shutter of Eggsy’s phone camera. Eggsy made a pleased sound. “So pretty,” he said. “I’m gonna keep that one.”

Tequila shifted on his knees. They weren’t starting to hurt yet – the pillow saw to that – but he was starting to feel exposed. Eggsy caught the motion. “What’s the matter, babe?”

“Want you naked.”

Eggsy laughed, and Tequila lifted his head, twisting around in an attempt to look at Eggsy. Eggsy caught him by the nape and squeezed warningly, and Tequila dropped his chin again. “You don’t get to make demands,” Eggsy reminded him. “But if you’d like to make a request, why don’t you phrase it nicely?”

“Could you maybe take your clothes off, please?”

Eggsy stepped in front of him again, close enough that his feet were brushing Tequila’s knees. “Please what?”

“Please, sir.”

“Hmm.” Eggsy tilted his head, lips pursed to hide a smirk. “Since you asked so nicely…” He reached for the back of his shirt, pulling it up over his head and exposing his chest. “Better?”

Tequila swallowed hard and nodded, not daring to look up, his eyes fixed on the little sliver of skin between Eggsy’s bellybutton and his jeans. He licked his lips to wet them and startled when Eggsy lifted his chin, blinking up at him. Eggsy crouched down to be on his level, pressing a little kiss to Eggsy’s lips and leaning back when Tequila tried to follow. He reached down and cupped Tequila’s cock; it was still soft, but at the touch it twitched, responding to the light pressure. “That’s it,” he murmured, curling his fingers to grip, stroking carefully. Tequila fought to keep still as blood pooled in his groin, not so much rushing as meandering lazily, slowly plumping his cock until it was full and hard and throbbing in Eggsy’s hand.

He bit down on his bottom lip to keep from whining when Eggsy let go. Eggsy stroked his hands up Tequila’s chest, which was puffed out from the position the ropes held him in, tweaking a nipple and laughing at the choked noise Tequila made, his cock jumping at the spark of pleasure.

“What am I going to do with you?” Eggsy asked. Tequila risked looking him in the eye, and Eggsy’s were full of affection, head tilted in contemplation. He stood up, and Tequila leaned back a little to follow, unable to help the sound of displeasure bubbling up in his throat. Eggsy clicked his tongue. “Patience, babe. I think I want to savour this. You’re fucking gorgeous, all tied up for me. Like a present. But we’re gonna wait a little while to unwrap you, so let me know if your arms start to hurt, yeah?”

Tequila nodded. He was definitely starting to get a little stiff, but he forced himself to relax against the bindings, and knew it would be a while yet before they became a problem.

“Good,” Eggsy said. He nudged Tequila’s knees a little farther apart with his foot, and then pressed his hand down on the back of Tequilas neck, forcing him to bend at the waist until his cheek was almost pressed against the floor. Eggsy knelt in front of him, his crotch right in front of Tequila’s face, and Tequila tilted his neck out, trying to press his lips to the front of Eggsy’s jeans.

Eggsy shuffled back, just out of reach. His fingers tripped lightly over Tequila’s skin, tracing gentle patterns. After a moment, Eggsy leaned over him, and Tequila startled, a whine torn from his throat as Eggsy’s teeth scraped against his neck. His grip on Tequila tightened, and he sucked hard at the flesh between his lips, creating a dark bruise. He switched sides, making a matching one, and Tequila squirmed at the sensation, his cock dribbling onto the floor.

Eggsy’s free hand reached under him, scratching his fingernails down Tequila’s stomach in sharp red lines, stopping just shy of his dripping cock and digging in, not quite hard enough to hurt, but enough that Tequila’s stomach muscles tensed, amplifying the pressure.

He could have cried when Eggsy reached lower, cradling his balls and ignoring the way the leaking head of Tequila’s cock smeared streaks of precum where it brushed against his forearm. The squeeze that came was painful, wrenching a gasp and a sob from him, and Tequila spread his knees even wider, begging without words.

“Look at you.” Eggsy tugged on his balls again, rolling them in his tight fist and making stars dance behind Tequila’s eyes, shut tight against the sensation. “You’d led me hurt you, wouldn’t you? If it made me happy?”

“Yes, sir.” The words were strained, Tequila’s body taut as he fought to hold the position without collapsing to the floor.

As if sensing the struggle, Eggsy asked, “Would you let me press you into the floor, arse up like a bitch, to use however I wanted?”

Another spurt of precum dripped against Eggsy’s skin, Tequila unable to control the pulsing of his cock, achingly hard and desperate for even that tiniest bit of friction. Eggsy chuckled at the non-answer. “’Course you would. You’re fucking perfect.”

Tequila yelped when the hand suddenly withdrew, his balls smarting as they were released, and suddenly Eggsy was behind him, dragging him back upright by the hair. He bent low, hissing into Tequila’s ear, “Next time I tie you up, I’m going to strap you to the bed. Wrap your cock up, make pretty patterns on your chest. And then I’m going to use you, just like I am now, because all of this is for me, isn’t it? You’re just a body for me to use, and that’s how you like it.”

He bit down savagely on Tequila’s earlobe, a piecing pain that allowed the answer to burst from Tequila’s throat, “Yes, sir! Just for you, whatever you want, _please_.”

Eggsy’s fingers curled around his throat, not quite choking him but giving the allusion of it, still biting at the shell of Tequila’s ear, and Tequila realized with a start that the hardness pressed into his side was Eggsy’s erection. He tried to twist into it but couldn’t, Eggsy’s grip on him and the ropes at his back holding him steady. Eggsy shuffled further behind him, and then Tequila heard the sound of a zipper and the scuff of fabric. Eggsy grunted, and then both his hands were suddenly on Tequila’s, using the cup of his palms to slide his dick between, and Tequila bent over a little, rising higher on his hips so Eggsy could get a better angle, nothing more important than Eggsy taking his own pleasure. His cock was still hard between his thighs, responding to the aching pulse growing in his shoulders with a matching rhythm, and each breath was a harsh pant, but his didn’t care, because Eggsy’s hands were tight over his, his cock slick and warm in Tequila’s clasped palms, and each time his thrust the head nudged against the meat of Tequila’s arse, sliding slick over the muscle as Eggsy grunted and fucked into his grip.

The splash of his cum was burning hot, painting stripes of heat across Tequila’s arse to match the burning in his shoulders and knees and groin. Tequila groaned with Eggsy, tipping his head back as if he were the one coming instead, mouth open and eyes closed.

Eggsy withdrew, and Tequila heard the zipper again as Eggsy tucked himself away, followed by the camera shutter again. He dropped his head, bending over without thinking until his cheek was pressed into the cold wood floor, giving Eggsy the best possible view of his arse, and Eggsy took another few photos, murmuring things that Tequila couldn’t hear over the blood racing in his ears.

A hand guided him upright again, and then Eggsy was back in front, down on his level, and Tequila met his gaze with bleary eyes, the world fuzzy at the corners. “Hey babe,” Eggsy said. “How you feeling?”

“Green.”

Eggsy cupped his cock, and Tequila whimpered. “You’re so hard,” Eggsy murmured. “You wanted me to take care of this?”

“Please.” Tequila couldn’t keep the desperation masked.

“Alright, easy,” Eggsy cooed. “I’ve got you. I’m right here, I’m gonna take care of you.” His grip wasn’t harsh anymore, just the right amount of loose as he smeared Tequila’s wetness along his shaft in long, gentle strokes. Tequila bucked his hips into it, then stilled, whining in apology, but Eggsy just coaxed, “That’s it, there you go. Take what you need.” Hesitantly, Tequila allowed his hips to move into Eggsy’s hand, helping to adjust the pace until the fire that had been building in his gut ignited. His orgasm was almost painful, his balls aching in protest as they emptied into Eggsy’s hands, and Tequila slumped, face pressed into the juncture of Eggsy’s neck, shaking like a leaf.

“Shh,” Eggsy murmured, and Tequila realized the sobbing echoing in his ears was coming from his own lips. “Still green, babe?”

“Green,” Tequila echoed, voice hoarse.

“Alright.” Eggsy wiped his hands on his jeans, evidently indifferent to the stain it would leave, and wrapped his arms around Tequila, holding him close as he stroked his hair. “I’ve got you. You just stay down as long as you need, okay?” His fingers toyed with the ropes. “Do you want me to untie you?”

Tequila shook his head. He needed them to stay there, needed the grounding pressure wrapped tight around his arms. He knew Eggsy would have to release him soon, if only for safety reasons, and he was dreading the moment. The only thought in his head was the warmth pinning him down, keeping him from floating too far away into the haze that was his mind. It was a lovely space, and by the time he came out of it his cheeks were streaked with tears and his eyes were dry, his body aching but his chest lighter than it had been in days. He lifted his head slowly and met Eggsy’s eyes.

Eggsy smiled. “Hey, there.”

“Hi.”

“You ready to be untied now?”

Tequila nodded, and Eggsy reached behind him to undo the ropes, keeping Tequila pressed against his chest. When Tequila’s arms were freed, he rolled his shoulders back, stretching them out, and then tentatively moved his hands to Eggsy, brushing lightly over his arms.

“You ready to stand up?”

Tequila shook his head. His knees were almost numb and moving felt like an impossibility.

“Why don’t we sit on the bed? Okay? You’ll just have to be up for a moment, and I can help you stand.”

A pause, and then Tequila nodded. He allowed Eggsy to move him, wincing as his knees unbent, and then there was a soft blanket under him and Eggsy’s hands were on his legs, stroking over the aching muscles. Tequila closed his eyes again, head hanging low.

“I’m gonna leave in a minute, okay?” Eggsy told him, voice hardly above a whisper. “I’m not gonna be gone long, I’m just gonna run you a bath. It’ll help with the tension.” He moved to stand up, and Tequila reached out, clinging tight to him. Eggsy settled back down. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Eventually, Tequila let him up, and Eggsy dropped a kiss onto his forehead before padding down the hall to the bathroom.

The time between that moment and opening his eyes in the bathtub did not exist for Tequila. He couldn’t consciously recall moving, and he tilted his head back, looking up at Eggsy where he was carding his fingers gently through Tequila’s hair. The warm water was perfect, easing the tension out of his body, making the flesh match the feeling inside him.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

“What for?”

“For letting me try.”

Eggsy snorted affectionately. “This was my idea, remember? I was the one who wanted to tie you up in the first place.”

Tequila managed to push himself into a sitting position, twisting around so he could look at Eggsy properly. “I know. But still. Thank you.”

Eggsy’s eyes softened, and he smiled gently. He guided Tequila back down into the water, stroking a hand over his chest. “You’re welcome, babe.”

Tequila relaxed into his hands and let Eggsy take care of him, the way he knew Eggsy always would.


End file.
